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The Leper
In the cold and bitter Christmas of 2001 a burst of creativity came upon me: I decided to write a set of epic metal songs about the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, by Stephen Donaldson. People seem to be utterly divided concerning this series: some hate it, and some love it. Personally, I intend to carry Donaldson’s child. I know that I’m male and I know that it won’t be easy, but my plan involves experimental surgery, ”accidentally” bumping into Mr. Donaldson somewhere, and a crate of whiskey at my hotel room.
I planned a set of nine songs that would cover the first book very loosely. I decided not to follow the story itself, but to make introspective songs instead, concerning Covenant’s feelings. This way, they wouldn’t become entirely incomprehensible for people who haven’t read the books; and I could experiment with the structures and lyrics. In January 2002 I started recording a number of these songs in my home studio (also known as guitar, amp, mic and computer), but to my dismay I never finished the whole set of songs. Just three and a half songs were recorded at that time.
This was the intended list of songs:
- Intro – Alone
- The Leper – In Which the Outcast is Presented
- Another World – Wherein His Secret Desires Surface
- Regrets – The Inevitable Pain He Has Caused Troubles Him Relentlessly
- Falling Leaves – In Which He Understands the Lack of Free Will
- Tempations – He Lets Others Decide Despite the Duality of His Needs
- Lord Foul – Evil Cannot Sate His Complex Needs
- (Never wrote this one)
- Outro – Alone
Yes, I went for the silly style with a name for the song followed by a ridiculously long subtitle. This was intended to be epic, after all. In case you’re feeling masochistic or curious, feel free to download
Karja – The Leper.mp3 (4 MB; power metal with synths and whatnot)
or
Karja – Regrets.mp3 (3,8 MB; a somber ballad)
Some technical information: the foundation of the songs consist of drums (in XM format), bass (tracked along with the drums) and synths added on top of this. I like tracking, and the results are pretty decent. I track it all together in order to be able to play the guitar along with the XM – that way I can adapt and change things that don’t work, without having to record the guitar. After I’m satisfied with the tracked works, I create separate WAV tracks from each instrument type, for the mixing. (Drums, bass, synth 1, synth 2 most of the time.) After that comes the guitar. This often consists of between two and four guitar recordings; two rythm guitars panned to the left and right, and one or two melodies on top of that. All guitar and XM tracks are mixed together - I use n-Track Studio for this – and the vocals are recorded at last, once I have a complete instrumental song to sing along to.
The results are decent, but not great. This is due to several reasons: first of all, the quality isn’t great. Using the XM format means that the quality of those tracks won’t become better than the samples I use, and recording guitar and vocals in my bedroom with lousy equipment just won’t produce great sound. On top of that, there’s the problem of working as a solo artist. At this time I was still pretty used to having my old punk band, and relying on everyone in the group to suggest variations and improvements; when you’re on your own, you don’t have anything other than your own meager talent. This goes for songwriting and composition as well as technical skills. The songs would’ve been much better if I’d had some additional musicians to help me with my all-too-numerous musical weak points.
Working on your own is great, but I sorely missed having others in order to make the end result better.
For clarity’s and sanity’s sake I’d better post the lyrics to the songs above as well:
The Leper (Miro Karjalainen 2001)
The leper stands alone, he cannot see the light
He watches endlessly, he watches without sight
Silent tears that never form (They never give relief)
Feelings that are buried deep (They never shall emerge)
In the misty light he sees
No hope or beauty – he watches himself
He longs not for what cannot be
His dreams have vanished, like shadows in the dawn
For he stands by himself (Outcast! Unclean!)
And he knows he is doomed to die just like he lives
The leper stands alone, he cannot see the light
He watches endlessly, he watches without sight
Silent tears that never form (They never give relief)
Feelings that are buried deep (They never shall emerge)
Facing the world, he has no choice
An endless dying – he’s fading away
He can hear a silent voice
Whispering – of death
For he stands by himself (Outcast! Unclean!)
And he knows he is doomed to die just like he lives
The leper stands alone, he cannot see the light
He watches endlessly, he watches without sight
Silent tears that never form (They never give relief)
Feelings that are buried deep (They never shall emerge)
Regrets (Miro Karjalainen 2001)
I know so well that I have sinned
I know so well that I deserve the pain I feel
I cannot dwell on what I’ve done
And yet the torment carries on
Another sleepless night is followed by dawn
I wish my feelings could be gone
All I have is the pain
- and regrets
I know just what I should have done
I offer no excuses; an explanation an the truth
I have nothing more to give
Than my pain
Forgive me if you feel you can
Forgive me if you find the strength within yourself
I know I can’t forgive myself
My silent torment carries on
Another sleepless night is followed by dawn
I wish my feelings could be gone
All I have is the pain
- and regrets
All I have is the pain
- and regrets