In the beginning of the summer I posted an ad where I asked for web designers interested in having a go at integrating all the KarjaSoft pages into one logical unit. Essentially, what I want is a unified presence in order to explore synergies between my different projects – e.g. Cynical Stuff, the KarjaSoft company webpage and the different game pages. Yes, you may now slap me in the face for using both “unified presence” and “explore synergies” in the same sentence. Either way, I got a couple (as in two) responses…that somehow missed the mark a little.

What I desperately need is a designer. Not a programmer (I can code PHP myself, goddammit!) or an artist (what good is a pretty logo if it’s just sitting there like a bloated toad?) – a web designer! But somehow the word design gets lost when one mentions web design. Web design almost inevitably gets interpreted as either “make a logo” or “do a customized content management system.” Design is of course present in both making a logo and writing code, but my needs were for a person more keen on usability and design in the classical sense.

To make a short story long: In the end I sighed and shook my blonde curls in dismay, and decided to have a go at it myself instead. Hey, at least it’s a learning experience, right? Here’s what I ended up with as my first concept:

This is supposed to be the Games page; a list of all KarjaSoft games with easily accessible links to each game. Clicking a game logo leads you to the specific game’s page. The color scheme and the logo is modified for each game, but the main design is kept in order to give a sense of unity. Also, the navigation buttons in the top right are present on all pages. As you can see I’ve used common terms instead of titles. If someone sees a button with Cynical Stuff it is probably hard to guess that it leads to this blog, but by typing out Blog everyone will instantly know where it leads.

And yes. If I adopt this design, it will mean that Cynical Stuff will be redesigned according to this as well. As long as I can make a decent WordPress template out of it, that is.

Any thoughts? Does it look like cat vomit? Does it look okay?

For many years I’ve been in no rush to make something of myself: I’ve dabbled in writing some Windows applications, small game experiments, and lately casual games. I’ve also started writing a fantasy novel, written and performed humorous songs at university parties, written punk songs, metal songs, pseudo-baroque songs, and tried to learn how to draw better. But this year I’m turning 30. I still have long hair and dress all in black; I really should grow up and start doing some worthwhile things.

My professional life is going well: I like working with embedded software development and my current Field Applications Engineer role could be a much-needed spark of inspiration for me. But that’s not enough – I need to have more entrepreneuring projects for my spare time! I have a nagging suspicion that I’m far from the only one in a position like this, so for all our sakes I’ll make a short list of my current thoughts. With some luck they might give you inspiration to start something new:

1. Continue with casual games development. Well, this is pretty much a given. I love making games and I have loads of ideas: Spandex Force 2 with multiplayer support, a puzzle game based on Norse mythology, a free Flash verison of my old Word Mahjongg game, an abstract strategy game based on the dawn of civilization, an archaeology adventure/puzzle game, humorous adventure games based on old public domain stories – and so on. I’ll definitely keep this up. Especially since Spandex Force has given me funding for both Wildhollow and much of Spandex Force 2.
2. Import and sell items. I love weird cool stuff, and I’d love to find something obscure that I can sell in Sweden. I like the idea of a DIY thing with a small stock in my apartment and online distribution. Still haven’t found the Perfect Cool Thing(TM), though - a big part of the problem is that I don’t have a lot of capital to invest in a project like this.
3. Attempt to make one of these cool Web 2.0 places. (Well, it ought to be 3.0 by now.) Maybe “World Party” – a community-like site where you can have both world and city maps, and add locations where there’s good nightlife. “Go here, the beer is cheap!” Others can comment on your suggestions, and you can either use it as a personal “I’ve been here and done that” thing, or search for good places when you’re travelling. Whatever, there are probably places like this already. The idea itself is just a minor thing IMO - the concept is what’s interesting from a technical/design point of view.
4. Use my irreverent sense of humour to make posters/plaques/t-shirts with interesting prints. This would be pretty cool since it would involve taking studio photos of people posing with the products in question. See how much your pretty face is worth now! I’m the one hiring your services, and you’re dependent on me! Was it worth it, being one of the Beautiful People(TM)? We hatesss you… Seriously, this option would be risky since everyone and his dog can make prints these days, and everyone thinks he’s a bloody comedian. Just like me.
5. Investigate the market and try to find a simple product that’s missing. Browse, look around, do a heap of research, and finally decide on something that I can get an investor interested in. I.e., do something on a bigger scale than any of the other projects.
6. Finish my book. I think I could put together a decent fantasy novel, and I love writing…in theory. Okay, this is no entrepreneurial enterprise, but it would still be interesting.

What I’m going to do now is print this page, hang it on the wall, throw darts to select three of the six items…and ignore all of this for now, and have a cup of tea and a slice of pan pizza instead. I need to re-design my websites and finish Wildhollow before any of this, either way.

Recently I complained about ridiculous spam I’ve received, but I just have to make a quick addition to that list. This is a title that just popped up in my inbox:

“Tired of being second best in bed?”

I’m trying my best not to laugh out loud at work; I’m not sure if the spammer really intended the humour, but I sure hope he did. I mean, come on. This is funny on so many levels, and it’s the perfect serve for a snappy response:

I’m never second best – I always come first!

Almost makes me want to click that darn link to see what he’s trying to sell.

And I know that it’s April 1 - I just can’t be arsed to make some inane attempt at a joke here. I’m going for the Grumpy Gamer approach: 100% April Fool’s Day joke free!

E-mail is incredibly useful, and since I’m not terribly plagued by spam I’m fairly happy with that means of communication. But every now and then a few spam mails get through, and my cat-like curiosity makes it inevitable that I have to take a look at what they’re trying to sell this time.

…And I’m constantly surprised by how ridiculously formulated spam can be. Let’s have a looksee at what’s in my Trash folder:

First of all we have the enlarge your penis spam. Sure enough, they’ve found something that’s bound to cause a subconscious nervousness in all but the most well-endowed males, so it’s bound to catch one’s eye at least the first time one sees it. Good going, spam! Too bad that it’s always written with appalling grammar, so there’s no chance of receiving a treatment other than a quick press of the Delete button. If I were ever even considering trying some procedure like that (not that I need it! honestly! really!) I wouldn’t let anyone who can’t spell or apply proper punctuation near my precious parts.

Then there’s the cheap software spam. I don’t get the point of this. Sure, in Asian countries (and other places) it might be common to buy pirated software but in the West (or rather cold North) most people I know either buy the full price version, or download it for free. I never see people choose the middle option – it’s the worst of both worlds. “Hmm… Let’s see… I can get an official version of this DVD for $25. Or a pirated one for free. Oooh, but look here! A pirated version for $5; I’ll take this one!” Personally I go for another option: “$25 for a DVD? Screw that (unless it’s 300)! But if I see it for $10 I’m taking it, ’cause I really want the extra material.”

The we have all the spam for celebrity porn. Okay, I may be going out on thin ice here, but I personally see no reason why I’d want to watch celebrities do naughty things in the first place. They’re not trained professionals, so the sex will be boring to watch anyway! Delete!

There’s countless more examples of bad spam that seems badly put together, and not really thought out. But the prime example must be something that’s started to pop up the last year or so:

“Hello! I’m tired tonight. I am a nice girl that would like to chat with you…”

What the… If I were looking for a nice girl to talk to, why would I ever want to talk to a tired girl?! Sheesh. I don’t know what these people are thinking. Are they trying to make some strange connection between tired and bed and sex? Have these people ever seen a tired girl? Sex would be a pretty low prio thing in most women’s minds if they’re tired. (With exceptions of course. I’m trying to write something mildly amusing here; not make general comments about how women work or don’t work. So if you were thinking of writing “oh-oh-oh, you’ve been with the wrong kinds of women then,” just don’t.)

This “I’m tired” business must be a cultural thing. Somewhere in the world it has to appear appealing to people, but it just raises one question in my mind: if she’s so tired, what’s she doing by the computer spamming e-mails instead of going to bed?

Mathematics is not one of my strengths; if I put my mind to it I can get by,  but I lack the discipline to become skilled at it. I’ve read some calculus and algebra and combinatorics and statistics and whatnot, but in general I’ve just taken some courses only to forget everything I’ve learned shortly afterwards. The only maths I use regularly, except for simple arithmetic, is trigonometry. (It’s quite useful for 2D games.)

Logic is a completely different matter though. My job as a software developer at a Large Multi-National Corporation(TM) demands that I keep many of my skills sharp: the ability to juggle many ideas and projects, the ability to deal professionally and courteously with customers, and the ability to drink copious amounts of tea. Oh, and let’s not forget the ability to actually write code. Many non-programmers seem to think that maths is necessary for programmers, but in reality it’s logic that’s in high demand.

Speaking of skills at work, another thing that I tend to do there is solve sudokus. I find great comfort in spending my lunch breaks listening to the ongoing conversations while I solve a sudoku and – if something interesting pops up – add something to the discussion. Solving a sudoku is relaxing; you know that it’s solvable as long as you apply some logic, so you can take your mind off the possibly-unsolvable problems facing you in real life. At one time I did many sudokus per day, but now I limit myself to at most one for the sheer pleasure of it. A friend of mine mentioned that sudokus can be used to measure stress as well: if you find yourself taking too long on a standard sudoku, it might be an indication that you’re too stressed to think straight at the moment. True enough, but I find that if I’m too excited about something it also makes it hard to concentrate on the problem at hand. But then again, I suppose that that could be classed as stress as well, albeit of the positive kind.

Incidentally, speaking of sudokus, did you know that Benjamin Franklin used to amuse himself with mathematical puzzles similar in principle to sudokus when he was not busying himself with inventing just about everything you could imagine? Read the article and be amazed at the 16-by-16 magic square with bent rows that Franklin devised. You know about the magic square, where each line has to add up to 15? This is a magic square where each line has to add up to 2056. And all the coloured areas also have to add up to 2056. I’m just shaking my head at the complexity of the puzzle.

Read the article above to see more puzzles.

At one time I was pondering if I could devise a meta-puzzle game, where each puzzle mechanism would be unique, and one part of the problem would actually be to figure out the rules themselves. I started examining the sudoku to get inspiration, and quickly decided that it’s above my current skill to actually bring that idea to life. The idea is seductively simple: create a formal definition of the sudoku, and then expand that definition to encompass other mathematical puzzles. After you have created a suitable grammar of mathematics puzzles, you simply create a generator for new exciting puzzles. But in reality, this is much too complex for a layman in mathematics.

However, after having read about Franklin’s exploits in the puzzle domain, I wonder if this would have been something he would have enjoyed to create.

Sir Edmund Hillary has passed away at the ripe old age of 88. I had never heard the name until I browsed National Geographic’s webpage today; I’ve missed out on a very cool person. He and Tenzing Norgay were first to climb Mount Everest on May 29, 1953. Upon completing this deed he returned to the base camp and exclaimed “We knocked the bastard off.”

That’s just so cool.

And here’s something he wrote about the pair’s final steps to the top:

“Another few weary steps and there was nothing above us but the sky. There was no false cornice, no final pinnacle. We were standing together on the summit. There was enough space for about six people. We had conquered Everest.

But my dominant reactions were relief and surprise. Relief because the long grind was over and the unattainable had been attained. And surprise, because it had happened to me, old Ed Hillary, the beekeeper, once the star pupil of the Tuakau District School, but no great shakes at Auckland Grammar [high school] and a no-hoper at university, first to the top of Everest.

I just didn’t believe it.”

I’m getting chills all over from reading that. A part of me has always wanted to do Adventurous Things(TM). As a young kiddo I even dreamed of having business cards with the title “Hacker / Adventurer.” A few days ago I realized that it’s about time that I get business cards for my little KarjaSoft venture…and that I could finally have that desired title!

But then it struck me that I haven’t done as many adventurous things as I’d planned in younger years.

Sure, I’ve done a fair bit. Spent time in Germany as a 12-year-old, living with a friend of the family away from home.  Hitch-hiked around Sweden at 15, where I received strange invitations from creepy old men. Travelled all around the US for two months, where I ended up at various hostels and parties and weird situations. Got lost in the Cyprus mountains and had to be rescued by the police. All very fun and all, but it’s not adventuring! Adventuring means wearing a cool hat and a whip, and visiting old ruins! Or climbing mountains! Or going out in the rain forest with a machete and rope (you always need rope), looking for some doctor or another!

I still might choose the title “Adventurer” when I print my business cards, but if so I’m going to have to earn the title in the coming years. I’m adding “become an adventurer” to my todo list!

Does anyone remember the Gizmondo; a handheld system that was launched in 2005, and claimed to be the best thing since sliced bread and Jesus combined. (Sliced Jesus?) Gizmondo wasn’t exactly what you would call a hit, and if I were thus inclined this is where I would make a pun about the word “hit.” See, Gizmondo was brought to life by Carl Freer and Stefan Eriksson, and the latter one’s claim to fame comes from totalling an Enzo.

You were too pretty to die so young!

Anyway, to make a short story shorter, Gizmondo died and no one cared (except for all the investors who lost millions). Read more about it all here. But now things are changing; it’s time to care again.

The Gizmondo actually wasn’t that much of a joke, hardware-wise. It had a decent 400 MHz ARM CPU, 320×240 resolution, NVIDIA 128-bit GoForce (not a misspelling) 3D 4500 GPU…and some cool things like a GPS and GPRS connectivity. Essentially, the device was good enough to play some games, and was tailor-suited for connectivity applications. (Car GPS, check. SMS services, check. Social gaming possibilities, check. Etc etc.) Apparently, Carl Freer also thought that the Gizmondo was a pretty nifty piece of hardware, ’cause he’s bringing back the Gizmondo. (Warning, Swedish article.)

The plan is to release the old version of the Gizmondo in May 2008, and a new improved one in time for Christmas 2008. With my non-existing psychic powers I foresee that the second coming of the Gizmondo will end in tears, and it’s doubtful that we’ll even see the May launch. A console launch needs funding, and Freer is not likely to get much of that after what happened the last time. So, he’s trying to make the Gizmondo cheap(ly) and work with Open Source to cut down on costs. In addition, he’s producing the hardware on credit – a Chinese company in Shenzhen is offering to produce the Gizmondo in exchange for exclusive rights on sales in China. If Freer manages to pull this off I’ll be in awe; it just seems too improbable that anything good will come of all these schemes!

However, it’s hard to deny that if he manages to get the console out to the public, and if there’s funding for a PR campaign, and if the claimed 35 available game titles really are available at launch, things might look brighter. The name Gizmondo may be a joke right now, but it’s hard to laugh at the connectivity possibilities the device has; there’s a slight chance that it might find a niche for itself after all.

If nothing else, it might become another homebrew favourite like the GP2X. It might not be what Carl Freer wants, but he should be thankful even if it just comes to that.

On a Swedish IT news site there are a few interesting headlines; one of which is that Sweden is “best” in Europe at using the Internet. (Link; beware – it’s in Swedish.) First of all, let me object to the word best. Let’s see. What constructive criticism could I conjure against that use…? Maybe…the fact that it’s complete and utter bollocks! Best is a marvellous word for quantifiable comparisons within a clearly measurable area, but in what way is Internet use a measurable area? And what exactly would “best” imply? That we’re best in Europe at finding warez? That we waste time on the Internet instead of working? That we know how to write good Google keywords? The phrase is completely ridiculous and says nothing at all.

And on the note of Google, there is another headline at the same site: Why Google is Making Us Dumber. Basically, that article insists that Googling stuff makes us dumber; for instance we no longer do conversion arithmetic by hand (or by head, rather) – instead we use Google features for those kinds of things. Well, let’s see if I remember my logic classes; I’ll try to make a modus ponens situation out of this. But I’ll leave out the predicate logic.

If P then Q, where P = “increased Google use” and Q = “getting dumber.” And I’ll introduce R = “increased Internet use” as well, and state the intuitive hypothesis that if R then P. Then we have the following:

(R -> P) AND R
-> P

(P -> Q) AND P
-> Q

Thus, Swedes are getting dumber. If you trust strange logic and strange articles you read on the ‘net, that is.

I won’t really waste any time on disputing the “Google makes you stupid” claim – it’s clearly ridiculous and a prime example of backward-thinking. The same was said when calculators were invented. “Oh no, the kids won’t learn how to do simple arithmetic anymore now that they have a machine for it.” Granted, I expect that kids today can’t do simple arithmetic, so I guess this example sucks. Still, I’m convinced that the productivity gains from automating simple tasks vastly oughtweighs the small setbacks in basic knowledge.

But wait, there’s more! I have yet another point to this little blog post. Some people might have read my little rant about coffee, in which I claimed that coffee was the cause of major wars. I received some interesting (IRL) feedback to that; most who commented on the post were confused and didn’t really see the point of it. That’s okay, ’cause I was planning on bringing up the point later – like now. In the coffee post I claimed, for example, that coffee was the cause of the War of the Golden Stool. That was complete and utter rubbish. Just as all the other coffee-related anecdotes in the post. Have you guessed the common thread through this blog entry by now? No? Okay, I’ll continue.

The post sounded confident and it was backed by enough facts to make it believable; no one really cared to question my claims since the topic was dull, but I have seen many search entries for the War of the Golden Stool that led to my site. I keep imagining that some kids have used my lies as interesting anecdotes in their schoolwork, and that a few teachers are scratching their heads in confusion right now. I hope that both those teachers and those kids have learned a valuable lesson about using things on the Internet as resources for their essays. There’s basically no guarantee that anything you read on the net is true, regardless of the imagined authenticity.

This goes for the article about Google making people dumber as well: it’s a personal opinion backed by no facts. It doesn’t matter that a major Swedish IT news portal picked it up – it’s just as much rubbish regardless of who thinks that it might be valid.

In my youth I was a nerd. Oh yes – I know that it’s hard to imagine. Surely I couldn’t have been one of the geeky losers; I who became awesome and cool in every way? Well, no, I wasn’t. I was pretty damn cool – I simply had nerdy interests like programming my Amiga, reading copious amounts of geeky literature, and role-playing. The last bit is something I’ve all but forgotten these days, but reading about the Disappointment in the Demonweb Pits made me recall an amusing series of events.

It all began when a friend of my brother’s introduced me to Drakar & Demoner, a Swedish “equivalent” to Dungeons & Dragons which takes place in a world called Ereb Altor. All in all it’s probably a pretty shitty system, but it served nicely as an introduction into the weird world of role-playing games. Table-top ones, that is; I had played several CRPGs before this. Go Ultima IV! Anyway, I quickly decided that this was great fun so I got my own set of rulebooks for D&D. The Swedish D&D that is. I also found some friends who were interested in trying it out.

The first roleplaying session I had with my friends was…interesting to say the least. More than a dozen people who had never roleplayed before sat around, trying to grasp the concepts of this strange way of playing a game. Some had an intuitive understanding of the possibilities: a pair started making out in a bar in-game, and went to do the nasty in a tent. Another person wanted to find people to mug. Yet another tried to explore the town. Then, of course, there were others who just didn’t get the appeal at all and wanted to kill everyone so we’d be over and done with the session. All in all it was pretty amusing for most involved, and eventually I ended up with two or three regular players. Alas, they had no idea of how to be Dungeon Master (or as we call it in Swedish: “game leader”) so I ended up with the task of making up stories for them.

Then, just as now, I was a lazy bugger so I mostly bought pre-written stories and modified them slightly for my group. Essentially, I removed the parts involving lateral thinking, logic, or any attempts at non-linearity – those things were too complex. (Do I sound bitter? I don’t mean to sound bitter. Really.) One of these pre-written adventures I bought wasn’t just an adventure: it was a whole city called Krilloan and a large campaign which took place inside the city. When I was just about to set loose my little group of brawlers inside Krilloan, we received an unexpected addition: another friend of mine had heard of our fantastic exploits and wanted to join in.

Sounds great, huh? The problem was that this friend was a bit…well. More geeky. “More geeky than what,” you ask, whereupon I reply: “More geeky than just about everything.” This is the kind of person who, when asked what kind of music he listens to, answers that he listens to in-game music from computer games. Yes. Well. Anyway… To put it bluntly: the other people in my role-playing group found him irritating and obnoxious, and really didn’t care much for his being part of their exclusive group. Still, I couldn’t very well tell him that so he ended up making a character and joining the campaign anyway. Ain’t I a real softie.

Things went okay for a session or two, but eventually the others got really annoyed at the geekier of us geeks, and decided to have their revenge. They communicated through notes with me that they wanted to covertly purchase black masks and black cloaks, and coordinate an ambush on the geek character. They attacked him in a dark alley, mugged him, and slit his throat. Game over. But he got to create a new character and join in again instantly (through some story-telling magic) so no real harm was done. And it was frankly pretty awesome to see his confusion during the following sessions, where he discussed with the others who could have been behind the attack. “It must have been this baron we’re after! He must have hired some assassins!” The others nodded and agreed – that must have been it.

Things were fine for another two sessions or so, until the group found a magical chalice. This was an artifact belonging to an evil church, but that didn’t stop my usual brawler players from being stupid.

“I try sensing some magic off this thing.”
“Oooh, you definitely feel the radiant magic emerging from the chalice! It’s just full of power…”
“Hmm.. So, guys.. What do we do with it? Hey, I know! Let’s pour some wine into it!”
“Oh, nothing happened. Well, it’s a chalice, so…I’ll try drinking the wine from it.”

This is where the geekier guy chimes up.

“No! Dude! This is an artifact from an evil church – you can’t drink from it! Who knows what will happen?!”

The brawlers got quite annoyed at this sensible interruption and growled: “Well, you drink it then.” Of course the geekier person of the crowd refused; but it was too late. The other players held him down and forced his mouth open while they poured the wine down his throat…and then he fell down limp, stone dead.

“Well. Damn. I guess he was right!”

My friends were real bastards.

Have you heard of the War of the Golden Stool? Or the Russo-Japanese War of 1904? Maybe Tecumseh’s War? They all have one thing in common:

Coffee played an important role in starting all of them.

The 20th century had barely begun when serious conflicts once again arose between the British Imperial government of the Gold Coast and the Ashanti Kingdom. The latter was a semi-autonomous African state that co-existed with the British; but it was never an easy co-existance. The British constantly tried to assert their authority over the Ashanti after the demise of the slave trade, and twice the Ashanti had risen against the white invaders. In 1900 Sir Frederick Hodgson tried once more to impress the Ashanti: he demanded their submission, and that he would be seated on the Ashanti’s Golden Stool – the stool that, as he understood it, acted as a throne to the Ashanti people. The Ashanti couldn’t resist the white men, and he eventually got his wish; however, as he sat down he decided to drive his point home even further: he smiled, relaxed, and had a cup of hot coffee while he sat on his golden stool. Little did he know that the Golden Stool wasn’t just a throne – whoever sat on it also symbolised the direct embodiment of the Ashanti gods. And the white man sitting there drinking the black liquid was too much for the proud Ashanti: to them it symbolised not only the rise of white gods, but also white gods who would devour the black peoples. Thus began the Third Ashanti Uprising, or the War of the Golden Stool in 1900.

The Russo-Japanese War was a completely different business: in the early 1900s both Russia and Japan had massively imperialistic ambitions, and due to their close proximity they – of course – became bitter rivals. Both countries competed for influence, trade and territory in East Asia, and Japan desperately wanted to convert itself to a modern power. After the Sino-Japanese War (1894-1895) Japan defeated China; this led to the Treaty of Shimonoseki in 1895 in which China yielded many territories to Japan. One of these territories were the Liaodong Peninsula. Three Western countries, Russia, the German Empire and France, tried to apply pressure on Japan to relinquish its claim on the Liaodong Peninsula, because on this peninsula could be found Port Arthur. Russia especially desired this port, since it was the only warm-water port available in that area, and the only viable place in which they could import luxury items from the Pacific. Luxury items? Like what? Yes, you guessed it: coffee. Thus, another war was started in coffee’s name.

In 1811, North America was full of strife. The great War of 1812 stood just around the corner, but before it another war broke out: Tecumseh’s War, or Tecumseh’s Rebellion. Tecumseh was a Shawnee cheif who led an American Indian confederacy against the United States in the Old Northwest. The two principal adversaries in the war, Tecumseh and William Henry Harrison, had both been participants in the Battle of Fallen Timbers at the close of the Northwest Indian War in 1794. That war ended with the Treaty of Greenville, in which much of present-day Ohio was ceded to the United States; however, Tecumseh never signed the treaty – he continued to fight the United States and William Henry Harrison through the years, and ignited the American Indians to a great rebellion in 1811. Why did he do that? The story has it that the two leaders sat down in 1794 to discuss the terms of surrender, in order to come up with a solution that would be acceptable to both parties. Things were proceeding fine until a fateful moment. William Henry Harrison had brewed a pot of strong coffee and, in a friendly gesture, offered a cup to Tecumseh. The latter gladly accepted, tasted the brew, and then exclaimed: “By the ancestors, this is the most vile and putrid liquid I have ever tasted! I thought you wished to come to a compromise – yet you offend me with this awful beverage,” whereupon he stormed out of the pavillion. And he never forgave Harrison until the day he died.

In short, what I’m trying to say is that coffee has caused so much pain and suffering in this world; if we had any sense we would make the disgusting habit of coffee-drinking illegal, punishable by public flogging. It doesn’t matter that you try to disguise the black brew with nuts and milk and cream and whatnot – it’s still an awful thing to put in your mouth. Much better to rely on the magnificent flavour of tea. If you’re ever in Linköping I recommend that you try the cactus tea from the central tea boutique. It has just the right amount of sweetness without tasting like perfume (like most fruit teas do).

Oh, and did I mention that cool people play Sheeplings?